Happy Birthday Mum!

A few days late, but here it is anyway: Happy birthday mum! You're the egg in my cookies.

I went to Houston this past weekend to celebrate my mum's birthday. We did all the things she likes to do: eat, eat, eat, judge people, and watch TV.

One of her favorite pastimes is watching Chinese and Korean soap operas badly dubbed in Vietnamese. The past few times I've been home, I've watched them with her in the evenings before we go to bed.

This past weekend was no exception.

We watched a Korean soap opera. There were misunderstandings, love triangles, betrayals, resurrections, you know, classic trademarks of a good soap opera. Anyway, during one of the scenes, a heavily made up woman appears.

MUM: Those Korean women like to try to look good.
ME: Is that any different than regular people?
MUM: Yessss! Every time you see a Korean lady, she always trying to look good!*

I just laughed*. Moms can say the funniest things.  

*Unless it's a terribly overarching generalization that offends, then I totally frowned upon this conversation and did not laugh at all.

Always Time for Cake!

A couple of months ago, I attended That Takes the Cake, a local cake competition here in Austin to support my friend Mel.

I'm super proud of her for taking 2nd place in her division! Good job!

And congrats to all the other amazing cakes I saw there that day.

Inquiry: Have Cake and Eat More Cake?

So, here's a question: Let's say it's your time of the month. Would you say that it is totally acceptable to consume two servings of chocolate mousse in one sitting?

Because that's exactly what I did today at lunch. Insert guilt face here.

Have Cake and Eat It

Hello Cake.

We both know the truth. You are a poser.

Look at you: all crumbly and frosty. Like you're so much better than everyone. Like it takes talent to BE a cake.

You've got disguises to hide all your flaws: frostings, fillings, decorations, fruits, fondant. Come on, what are you hiding from?

Oh yes, the truth.

Another one of your poser (and overpriced) friends showed up in my life recently.

No, not your little cupcake friend.

No, not your teeny ass cakeball friend either.

Your newest, latest friend: the cake jar.

First of all, what the fuck? $6.95 for a tiny jar of cake, fruit preserves, and frosting. Why are you so expensive? Is it the jar? It's got to be the jar, the gimmick, because it sure as hell is not the cake.

For the most part, my cake jar experience consisted of spooning very unhealthy portions of frosting into my mouth. Oh, there were cake crumbles and fruit filling mixed into the frosting, but it was mainly frosting: heavy, dense, super rich frosting.

Dear cake, why do you have to alter yourself so much to be appealing? Stop whoring yourself around. Don't you know we love you as you are - in your simplest and most basic of forms? Next time I see you, it better be in slice form.

Your friend,
The Cookie